A few nights ago I watched a movie alone. This is not something I do often, but when it does happen, I make sure to take time with my selection. And for this, the criteria is simple: pick something I don’t think Sunny wants to see.
When we watch movies together, we prioritize films we both want to see, or at least filmes we think we will like, while seeking creativity, variety, and soul. This looks different every night, but the rules remain the same— if we are going to pick one movie, we start with three. There is not always a theme (for instance, one night last week the theme was thrillers—another night the theme was 80s animation), but there is often some line between the three selected films that we can draw ever so slightly without watching them. It could be a simple as “these three movies are all on Hulu” or as complex as “coming-of-age films about musicians during the early 60s in the American west.”
Either way, we have fun with it. There are movies we keep in mind for rainy days, cold winters, and slow mornings, and yet, every time we decide to watch something, we savor it. Like a ritual sacrifice to the gods of art.
As I buried myself in pillows in our newly acquired couch, I opened up a few apps to decide what to watch. Even though I would be viewing alone, I still managed to pick three.
“Something sad,” I thought.
Scrolling past horror films, revenge tales, old school animation, historical epics, French New Wave… These films would not be appropriate for a solo watch party. Many that fall in these categories I would want to share with Sunny, whether I’d seen it before or not. Plus, any epic would be far too long at this time of night.
It was just after nine, and I wanted to be in bed before eleven.
“Simple criteria,” I thought.
The longer I searched, the more I found films I wanted to share with Sunny. Countless names crossed my screen: Mike Leigh, Lena Dunham, Robert Redford, Godard, Joanna Hogg, Tarkovsky! How could I possibly decide? Then it hit me. I wanted something sad. Something slow. Something soft. And I knew just the thing.
I’d never seen a film by Kogonada, but I felt his style (or the style I percieved from my awareness of two of his films) fit my feeling for the night. And the three films I was already contemplating all went to the wayside. I quickly found Columbus (2017) starring John Cho and Haley Lu Richardson on Kanopy and projected it across the tea light wall.
I don’t want to go too far into the film, in the case that you want to watch it, too, but Columbus is about an estranged son, an uncertain daughter, and the college town that is Columbus, Indiana. The entire film was shot on location and features countless examples of modern art and architecture that make up the backdrop. It’s a movie about grief. And it was relatable in many different ways.
Not only did I go to a small school in Indiana, but I am the estranged son; I am the uncertain daughter. Seeing a college town like this, and running again in the days that preceded my first watch, brought me back to a time where I was first trying to figure out who and what I am. Like Casey, I felt lost, and unsure, and obligated to do what was expected of me. And like Jin, I felt angry, and sad, and nostalgic for a time and place that never existed. As I’m writing this today, I seem to be asking the same questions.
It’s difficult for me to think about school, or to think about my past, without thinking about running. Running is what got me interested in art, it solidified my interest in music, and it’s how I met Jim. As an incoming freshmen for the men’s cross country team, I was added to a facebook group in July of 2011. I was instructed (by one of the team captains) to “meet the guys” before we all convened on campus in mid-August. I was a captain of my cross country team and track team in high school (which was not unique, as I found out later), so introducing myself online felt inauthentic, rushed, and in 2011, just plain weird. A small group chat was started amongst the freshmen runners, but nothing substantial. I noticed what my future teammates looked like, and that’s all.
A few weeks later I was standing in a crowd in Grant Park in Chicago. It was Lollapalooza weekend, and the last weekend with my high school friends (all runners) before we went to different schools. I don’t remember the stage where we were standing, just that it was Sunday, and it looked like rain. We were waiting (maybe ten thousand of us) for Cage the Elephant. In the great anticipation of what would be a killer performance, minutes passed by like seconds. A low hum of bass drops present even in this silence. Before we knew it, the band took the stage.
Like a tidal wave crashing the boardwalk, after standing motionless since the last show, the crowd rushed the stage, and, suddenly, large gaps where filled with bodies on the concrete floor. Guitars, drums, and shouting in all directions competed for attention, with EDM stages not far off to the south.
I remember hearing “No… No!… NO!!!”
As I looked to my right, I saw a tall, thin, buzzed cut boy, probably my age, pushing his friends away as they sent him up, crowdsurfing on the first song. Looks like a runner, I thought. In that instant, I knew I’d seen that face before. And before I could even process what was happening, I shouted back.
“Jim?! JIM!!”
“What are you doing?”
“I know him! JIM!!!”
From a pixelated profile picture on an early version of Facebook, I recognized Jim in the crowd of people. I watched as his flailing body was pushed to the stage atop sweating drunken hands of ten thousand strangers. Soon after, lightning struck, and the next hour was a monsoon. Cage the Elephant went on to play their best songs, but the festival was cancelled, at least until the storm passed. We were rushed out of the park and found a table on the second floor of the State Street McDonald’s, like most everyone else it seemed, except Jim. I was still in a state of shock.
A couple years later, after spending countless hours as teammates and roommates and classmates, we hosted a radio show together while serving as the Music Directors for WGRE, our school’s student run radio station, and “your sound alternative.” We called the show IndieHour(s), just in case the faculty advisors only gave us a one hour show. Thankfully, we locked in a weekly two-hour show, Tuesdays 10pm to midnight, for three years straight. Jim and I both ran cross country and track, and we were involved in different clubs and classes around campus. Tuesday nights, late, seemed to be the only time that worked for us. And we made the best of it.
We had various catch phrases, jokes, and weekly features that made up our couple hours of indie and alternative music for our peers, including starting every show with a classic “jock jam” off of the ESPN Jock Jam CDs of the late 90s. We only had one real rule: never repeat a song.
Since WGRE functioned as a real radio station, I always thought of the long-haul truckers and the local townspeople that would tune in by chance and hear an early track from King Krule or the new Death Cab for Cutie and just think, “what in the hell is going on over there?” But of all of our antics, my favorite was always the fifteen minutes after 11pm, where we intentionally played sad songs, the saddest ones we knew. We called it crytime.
Our shared interest in music of all kinds brought Jim and I closer together as friends. Our first “meeting” seemed destined to me, and it was no surprise it came through a concert, instead of the first day of cross country where we’d meet out teammates and coaches and trainers, let alone the faculty, the students, the staff of what would make up our home for the next four years. I don’t know if either of us would have stood out if not for Cage the Elephant, and the crowd, and the rain.
Jim told me later that his friends egged him on all weekend about crowd surfing, something Jim had no interest in doing. So, as Sunday afternoon rolled around, his friends ambushed him, and sent him soaring into the air the moment the show began.
As the first few months of freshmen year went on, Jim and I found something in common with the type of music we liked. Yes, it spanned multiple genres, be it indie, rock, electronic, folk, hip-hop, bluegrass, and jazz; but there was one common thread: it was sad.
We were recommending songs to one another and realized, seemingly for the first time, how depressing they were. As if we’d never once listened to the lyrics until now. So when we started our radio show, we knew this was worth exploring.
I often asked myself, “why do I like sad songs?”
And at the time, I didn’t know. I was 18 years old. I was in school. I had friends. My parents were still together. My grandma was still alive. I had all the things I was told I needed to be happy. What did I have to be sad about?
But the truth was I was sad. And only after exploring the caverns of my psyche, did I start to understand why. I can’t speak for Jim, but running found me because of this sadness. I tried to convince myself I started running because my brother did, too. Or that my dad was a runner. That it was in my blood. But in reality, there was something about me, something about my home, something about my life, that I was running from. Like my earliest nightmare, swimming through rock and mud from the dinosaurs buried beneath the earth, and not breaking free.
Crytime* was a weekly occurrence for IndieHour(s), and, amongst our friends, it started to gain some traction. Even the music-loving president of our university tuned in. I remember being told that it was a reason to listen late night during the week. For us, it was a ritual: to play the eleven o’clock AP news, and to go straight into three depressed songs, blaring throughout the station studio, as we listened, together, in silence.
I liked to think anyone tuning in was doing the same.
As I finish this week of running, my week one in my training schedule, I feel this sense of return. In the past, I have strayed away from who I am, or who I was, as I searched for who I thought I was to become. But running is reminding me that I could be found right where I left off. I am running, but not from something. I believe this time I am running toward it. And over the course of the next eight months, I think I am going to find out what it is.
I reached out to a college friend and asked “what do you remember about crytime?”
“Absolutely nothing,” he said.
Ultimately, I’m not sure we made the impact that I believed we did at the time. Either way, crytime was a chance to come together and listen. To each other and ourselves.
And if we were doing it right, it was a time to cry.
-Brian
*For those interested, here is a playlist of songs featured on crytime. There are many more, but these songs we remember playing: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/crytime/pl.u-MDAWv0jI3pyKgY